Sunset years

We smoked our first cigarettes when we were teenagers

Despite the violent, coughing reaction as our chests rejected the smoky intruder

We still felt a calming sensation as the smoke curled its way towards our central nervous systems

Despite the health risks and inconvenience our puffing caused to others, not to mention the money we have spent on 'cancer sticks', we have been hooked ever since

Will we pay for it during our sunset years?

We drank our first sips of alcohol when we were teenagers

Despite the bitter taste it left on our tongues as it flowed towards our central nervous systems we still felt a calming sensation

Despite the health risks and the inconvenience our imbibing caused to our families and affected our productivity, not to mention the money we have spent on 'the bottles,' we have been hooked ever since

Will we pay for it during our sunset years?

After graduating from college we found good jobs escorted by good salaries

But these jobs grabbed much of our time

We lacked time for our spouses, children and friends

We were too busy to apply for our annual leave

Will we pay for it during our sunset years?

We worked hard for our money but what do we have to show for it?

We effortlessly spent it on the latest fashion

We effortlessly spent it on the latest cars

We effortlessly spent it on get-rich-quick schemes

Burials, weddings, and harambees claimed their unfair share too

Will we pay for it during our sunset years?

We prayed for children and God answered our prayers

We struggled to educate, feed and clothe them

We bought them material things

But we forgot to teach them to say 'please'

We forgot to teach them to say 'sorry'

We forgot to teach them to say 'thank you'

Will we pay for it during our sunset years?

Divorces and separation made us fear marriage

Scandals made us despise politics

Fundamentalism made us weary of religion

Insecurity barred us from interacting with our neighbours

Will we pay for it during our sunset years?

We didn't pursue our dreams because our so-called families discouraged us

We didn't pursue our dreams because our so-called relatives discouraged us

We didn't pursue our dreams because our so-called friends discouraged us

We didn't pursue our dreams because our so-called peers discouraged us

Will we pay for it during our sunset years?

2007 festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia

Our lives are also in danger!

Dear politician, you claim your life is in danger because your political opponents are plotting to assassinate you

But picture this, hit men might murder us, ordinary citizens, in our sleep

Carjackers might shoot us if we hesitate to surrender the car keys

We might die in plane crashes or road accidents

Our lives are also in danger!

Dear politician, you claim your life is in danger because your political opponents are plotting to assassinate you

But picture thus, we ordinary citizens might drown as we fetch water from a well

Our siblings might murder us over land disputes

We might die in earthquakes, floods, droughts, landslides...

Our lives are also in danger!

Dear politician, you claim your life is in danger because your political opponents are plotting to assassinate you

But picture this, an incomplete building might collapse and bury us construction workers alive

Cattle rustlers might roast us inside our huts as they steal our livestock

Terrorists might blow up buildings, vehicles or even themselves near us

Our lives are also in danger!

Dear politician, you claim your life is in danger because your political opponents are plotting to assassinate you

But picture this, rapists might rape and then strangle our children

Rapists might rape and murder our women

Rapists might sodomize and murder our men

Our lives are also in danger!

Dear politician, you claim your life is in danger because your political opponents are plotting to assassinate you

But picture this, we ordinary citizens might die after drinking outlawed brews

We might die after eating contaminated food

We might die of strokes, heart attacks, malaria, diabetes...

We might die of a drug overdose

Our lives are also in danger!

Dear politician, you claim your life is in danger because your political opponents are plotting to assassinate you

But picture this, skinheads might fatally stab us because of our skin colour

Fanatics might murder us over religious differences

We might commit suicide after losing our jobs and can't provide for our families

Our lives are also in danger!

2007. festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia  

How come?

Some people were born poor, didn't attend high school or dropped out

Yet they live in posh neighbourhoods and drive luxurious vehicles

They take exotic holidays locally and abroad

They wear fashionable clothes and sport stylish mobile phones

They educate their children in expensive schools and universities

How come?

Citizens of some countries have a high life expectancy

They have built superb roads, railways, airports and ports

They access affordable and reliable healthcare, electricity and water supplies

Their politicians resign when scandals damage their reputations

Taking shortcuts is frowned at, integrity is prized

How come?

Most relatives despise you if your parents are rich

Other relatives regard handouts as a birthright

Most relatives won't assist you when you're alive, but they will contribute money towards your burial expenses

How come?

Most politicians deride their opponents because of their tribes

Most politicians deride their opponents because of their gender

Most politicians deride their opponents because of their sexual orientation

And most politicians blame immigrants for their countries' economic and social ills

How come?

Some countries possess minerals, but they remain poor or at war

Most countries possess no minerals, yet they have prospered and enjoy peace

Some countries are vulnerable to natural disasters so they take mitigating measures

Some countries are battered by natural disasters, yet they don't learn from them

How come?

Some religions claim they are the only salvation conduits

Some religions encourage their followers to take up arms to defend the faith

Some religions permit women leaders and gay clergy

Most religions can't fathom that

How come?

2007 festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia

Dear mums and dads

Yes, you denied yourselves life's luxuries so that we could join high school

Yes, you borrowed loans payable at usurious interest rates and you took time off from work to buy suitcases, books, uniforms, shoes and other requirements

One afternoon after paying first-term school fees you bid us farewell saying, "Study hard my son and be a good boy"

Afterwards senior students escorted us to our dormitories

They asked us too many questions about us and said nothing about themselves

When we reached our beds they demanded payments for 'services' rendered

We parted with some chapattis our dear mothers had cooked

That was just the beginning

Tea contains more tea leaves and water than milk and sugar

We are entitled to only one slice of bread daily, no margarine spread, thank you very much

Weevils abundantly swim in 'murram' soup during lunch and supper daily

Dear mums, dads, we request for transfers to day schools

Now most senior students force us to wash their clothes

Now most senior students force us to polish their shoes

Now most senior students force us to be their messengers

Dear mums, dads, we request for transfers to day schools

We are forbidden from unofficial contact with girls

We are forbidden from wearing civilian clothes even during weekends

We are forbidden from speaking our mother tongues even after lessons

Dear mums, dads, we request for transfers to day schools

The prefects wear trousers while we wear shorts

They demand portions of the mandazis, chapattis, biscuits, etc that you bring when you visit us

They possess the power to punish us for any 'offence' anywhere, anytime

They force to play sports we dislike

Dear mums, dads, we request for transfers to day schools

Sometimes we wake up and alas, there's no water, so we have to bath and wash our uniforms in a nearby river   

Sometimes we come back to the dormitories after afternoon classes to find either our shirts missing or our suitcases broken into

Sometimes during night preps electricity vanishes

Dear mums, dads, we request for transfers to day schools

Often we misuse the pocket money you give us on opening day and remain broke until closing day

We can't watch TV, movies, play music or surf the net whenever and however we like

The bell unfairly limits our sleeping hours

Dear mums, dads, we request for transfers to day schools

Copyright 2007. festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia 

Don't remind us that old age beckons

We are looking forward to meeting people, visiting exotic places

We are looking forward to wearing designer clothes, shoes, jewelry...

We are looking forward to attending concerts, watching movies, driving luxurious vehicles...

So please don't remind us that old age beckons

Who's looking forward to gray hair or baldness, wrinkled faces, hobbled walks?

Who's looking forward to porous immune systems, empty purses and wallets?

Who's looking forward to menopause and prostate cancer?

Who's looking forward to loneliness and senility?

So please don't remind us that old age beckons

We are looking forward to dating, marrying, raising families, building homes, growing older together with our partners

We are looking forward to exploiting mineral resources, and often, other people

We are looking forward to vying for political seats, ascending the corporate ladder

So please don't remind us that old age beckons

Who's looking forward to being told we are too old to learn new things?

Who's looking forward to being told that our views are old fashioned?

Who's looking forward to being reminded about past lost opportunities?

So please don't remind us that old age beckons

Copyright 2007. festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia

Do we have to pray tonight?

Last night we slept in fits and starts thanks to mosquitoes humming lullabies in our ears

When we awoke in the morning electricity and water were missing

The mathree we boarded broke down up a hill, forcing us to find alternative transport

Our supervisors criticised us for arriving to work late

During the day we read and responded to many emails

During the day we made and answered many phone calls

During the day we received and sent many text messages

In the evening we encountered winding traffic jams

Our bodies were tired when we reached home

Do we have to really, really pray tonight?

During the day we had to contend with rude colleagues

During the day we had to contend with dissatisfied clients

During the day we attended unnecessary meetings

In the evening we encountered winding traffic jams

Our bodies were tired when we reached home

Do we have to really, really pray tonight?

During the day we worked extra hours to beat deadlines

During the day we worked out at gyms

During the day we attended workshops, refresher courses, evening classes...

In the evening we encountered winding traffic jams

Our bodies were tired when we reached home

Do we have to really, really pray tonight?

During the day we lost our mobile phones to muggers

During the day we paid parking fees to both the Nairobi City Council parking attendants and something extra to street children to 'protect' our side mirrors from thieves

During the day we saw a former colleague, schoolmate, neighbour... in the obituaries

In the evening we encountered winding traffic jams

Our bodies were tired when we reached home

Do we have to really, really pray tonight?

Copyright 2007 festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia

Dear finance minister

Dear finance minister

We mobile phone service providers play a vital role in the economy

We enable businesses and individuals communicate in real-time

We employ many employees and pay billions in taxes to the government annually

Have we mentioned that we give back to the community through our corporate social responsibility programs?

So if you reduce the excise duty on airtime and abolish import duty on handsets 

We will connect more subscribers who will then communicate often and cheaply, thereby earning more revenue for the government

Please favourably consider our request before you present this year's budget to parliament

Thank you

Dear finance minister

We cement manufacturers play a vital role in the economy

Without cement no construction can commence

We employ many people and pay billions in taxes to the government annually

Have we mentioned that we give back to the community through our corporate social responsibility programs?

So if you reduce the cost of electricity and either reduce or remove import duty on packaging paper and machinery

Construction activities will increase, from which both the economy and government will benefit

Please favourably consider our request before you present this year's budget to parliament

Thank you 

Dear finance minister

we banks play a vital role in the economy

We provide credit to businesses and individuals which enables them achieve their goals

We employ many people and pay billions in taxes to the government annually

Have we mentioned that we give back to the community through our corporate social responsibility programs?

So if you reduce the amount of money that we keep at the central bank as reserves

We will lend more money to more businesses and individuals that will engender economic and social development

Please favourably consider our request before you present this year's budget to parliament

Thank you 

Dear finance minister

We vehicle manufacturers play a crucial role in the economy

We enable people and goods reach their destinations and markets

We employ many people and pay billions in taxes to the government annually

Have we mentioned that we give back to the community through our corporate social responsibility programs?

So if you ban the importation of second-hand vehicles or raise the import duty

And allocate more money to road construction and maintenance

We will sell more vehicles, which means more people and goods will reach their destinations and markets faster, fresher and safer

Please favourably consider our request before you present this year's budget to parliament

Thank you

Dear finance minister

We publishers play a vital role in the economy

Our books, magazines, newspapers, novels and other reading material educate and entertain many readers

We employ many people and pay billions in taxes to the government annually

Have we mentioned that we give back to the community through our corporate social responsibility programs?

So if you reduce import duty on paper and machinery

More readers will afford our products and they will be informed

Which is a requirement in today's knowledge economy

Please favourably consider our request before you present this year's budget to parliament

Thank you 

Dear finance minister

We hawkers, craftsmen, roadside mechanics and caterers and other informal sector entrepreneurs play a crucial role in the economy

We sell cheap products and services to our-low income customers

We create employment opportunities for people unable to secure formal sector work

Our costs are high and profits small

But if you require us to obtain licences and start paying income tax, VAT, corporate tax and other levies

We will go bankrupt and our employees will lose their jobs

Our low-income customers will lack life's basic necessities, not to mention their right to choose

Please favourably consider our request before you present this year's budget to parliament

Thank you

Copyright 2007. festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia

Dear father

Dear father and husband, how are you? Forgive us, your wife and children, for disturbing your soul as it rests in peace six feet under

But we have to let you know how we have fared since you died one year ago

During your funeral many speakers from both genders, different faiths, political affiliations, educational and economic achievements

Their hands on the microphone, some steady, others trembling, spoke highly of your educational, personal and professional accomplishments

They praised you for being a role model for marrying and raising a family

They cited occasions when you demonstrated generosity of time and wallet

After the cleric uttered, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," we lowered your coffin to the ground and mourners went their separate ways

Grief and sorrow still resided in our hearts and minds: we, your children; and your wife

But that didn't stop vultures comprising your relatives and siblings, from swooping down on your earthly assets for their unfair share

Your clothes, shoes, books, CDs, electronics and even furniture were fair game

They said it was just the beginning and they would be back

Creditors followed, claiming you owed them millions and demanded their money back

Otherwise they would auction your property to the highest bidder at the fall of the hammer

None of your relatives and siblings offered to assist us settle your liabilities

A woman accompanied by children later joined the cast, insisting you married her under customary law a decade ago!

Dear father and husband, why didn't you have the will to write a will? 

What were we, your wife and children; to do?

Give in to their demands or dispute these claims?

Their lust forced us to file a court case and hire a lawyer

But the wheels of justice rotated too slowly

Our mother had to prove she was your wife by producing a marriage certificate

We, your children, had to prove you were our biological father by tabling birth certificates

The vultures, creditors and your other 'wife' had chances to argue why they merited membership in your estate

These court sessions stole much of our time and cost us a bundle in bus fare, communications, accommodation, lawyer's fees...

Not to mention the mental anguish

Dear father and husband, why didn't you have the will to write a will?

By the time the wheels of justice gained momentum

We were financially and psychologically exhausted

The court ruled that the creditors had to be repaid in installments, and your other children deserved a share of your estate just like us! 

Fortunately your other 'wife's,' siblings' and relatives' claims were dismissed with costs 

Though our lawyer will grin all the way to his bank or banks

We, your wife and children; were left with nothing to write to you about

Dear father and husband, why didn't you inform us you had another family?

Dear father and husband, why didn't you inform us about your liabilities?

Dear father and husband, why didn't you have the will to write a will?

Copyright 2007. festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia

Because of our children

We leave our homes early and come back late

We work most weekends and rarely take leave

We seldom spend time with either our children or spouses

Our sex drives are in reverse gear

We have to constantly prove ourselves at work and beat deadlines

Competition for promotions is ruthless

Our presence at company functions is highly appreciated and noticed

We detest doing it, but we do it because we have to clothe, educate and feed our children

Our job is to serve customers food and drinks

The hours are long and the pay is shameful

The music is always loud and the air foggy with cigarette smoke and fake achievements

Some men, irrespective of their marital statuses, wink at us, request for our mobile phone numbers, tip us, stare at our cleavages, curves and even regularly grab our asses!

We detest doing it, but we do it because we have to clothe, educate and feed our children

Daily we descend on pavements like vultures on carcasses

We risk contracting sore throats because of shouting to woo passers-by to buy the cheap items on offer: garments, cutlery, DVDs, shoes, etc

Shopkeepers complain that we litter the streets after we 'close' shop and also evade paying taxes

Frequently City askaris chase us away, arrest our colleagues, confiscate our stocks and ban us from Nairobi's streets 

But tomorrow we will be back not because we like it, but because we have to clothe, educate and feed our children

Our job is to ensure our male employers' compounds are clean and green

But their daughters and wives desire us to make them moan and groan when the coast is clear

We are young, energetic and muscular, and we neither smoke nor drink

These virtues boost our stock prices

Refusing their advances will cost us our jobs

We detest giving in, but we do it because we have to clothe, educate and feed our children

We have basic education but are unemployed and unconnected at high places

We possess business ideas but lack collateral for credit

If we resort to crime we might get lynched, shot dead, imprisoned or hanged

So we pack rubber dinghies and pray we safely cross the Mediterranean and land on Europe's shores where fortunes await us to harvest

We might drown or get caught and deported

But we have to do it because we have to clothe, educate and feed our children

When we informed our boyfriends we were carrying their offspring in our wombs they took off like rockets

Our families worsened our predicaments by chasing us away from our homes for staining their good names

Neither our friends nor relatives wished to assist us or associate with us

And we considered abortion too risky

Despair forced us to hawk sex along the streets, in hotels, brothels...

Some clients are reasonable, use condoms and pay us well

Others want a good time on lean budgets or for free, while others make beastly demands

We risk police harassment or imprisonment or both

We detest doing it, but we do it because we have to clothe, educate and feed our children

We are in charge of government procurement

Every year we decide who wins or loses lucrative tenders

But our salaries are emaciated and morale stillborn

It pains us even more when businessmen and women laugh all the way to the banks

So next time we request you to buy 'lunch' before we favourably examine your bid

We are not doing it because we like it, but because we have to clothe, educate and feed our children too

Before we married our current husbands we were so in love with them

They used to hold our hands whenever and wherever

They used to call us and say, "I love you darling," or "Good night darling"

They used to hold doors for us, pull seats for us, and were generous with money

But once we married them things changed: no more dates, calls, gifts...

And yeah, money suddenly became scarce

Some began emotionally and physically assaulting us, while others began sprinting after other women

We are still life members of these marriages not because we like it, but because we depend on these husbands to clothe, educate and feed our children

Copyright 2007. festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia

10 reasons

10 reasons

Most of the time he fixes his eyes on yours and not on your cleavage, first reason why you like him

He listens more than he talks, second reason why you like him

He has a job and doesn't live with his mother, third reason why you like him

He uses a condom and he's not a one-minute man, fourth reason why you like him

He doesn't appear at your front door uninvited, fifth reason why you like him

Bars, casinos, nightclubs and strip clubs aren't his second homes, sixth reason why you like him

He appreciates the benefits of water, soap, roll on, comb, ironed clothes, toothpaste, clean underwear, socks and shoes; seventh reason why you like him

He budgets before spending, eighth reason why you like him

He keeps his fingers off your cash and car keys, ninth reason why you like him

He often compliments you and makes you laugh, tenth reason why you like him

But despite these virtues, they say he's too young for you!

She understands you don't have to call, sms, or email her daily, first reason why you like her

She doesn't demand you take her to the movies, clubs, or money to do her hair every weekend, second reason why you like her

She doesn't 'flash' you or request you to sms her airtime, third reason why you like her

She earns her own income and pays her bills, fourth reason why you like her

She tells you what she wants and how she wants it in-between the sheets, fifth reason why you like her

She doesn't pressure you for a commitment, sixth reason why you like her

She doesn't nag you to buy a car, live in a posh neighbourhood, or get a better paying job, seventh reason why you like her

When you're broke she will go Dutch or even spend money on you, eighth reason why you like her

She works out regularly to stay healthy and sexy, ninth reason why you like her

She calls you to ask how your day was and wish you a good night, tenth reason why you like her

But despite these virtues, they say she's too old for you!

Copyright 2007. festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia