He dreads the announcement, ''Honey I'm pregnant," and won't consider asking her to procure an abortion
He's alert to one consequence of that announcement for the rest of his life: bills, bills, bills
Pl lease surgeon, tie his vasa
He fears advising his children that only academic achievements matter
He fears satisfying his children's material wants, but starving them of their emotional needs
He fears wondering whether he will be too harsh or too soft on them when they misbehave
Pl lease surgeon, tie his vasa
He fears teaching his children that boys play and girls cook
He fears teaching his children that boys hunt and girls get hunted
He fears teaching his children that boys persevere and girls cry
He fears teaching his children that boys study sciences and girls study arts
He fears teaching his children that boys ogle at girls' bodies and girls lust after boys' wallets
P lease surgeon, tie his vasa
He fears forbidding his children from drinking alcohol yet he will be a bar life member
He fears forbidding his children from littering, yet he will throw a cigarette butt out of the car window
He fears advising children to read widely, yet he won't read anything beyond a newspaper
He fears advising his children to stay cool, calm and collected at all times, yet he will hoot endlessly in traffic and stab the air with his middle finger
P lease surgeon, tie his vasa
He fears advising his children to be faithful to their future spouses, yet he will keep a mistress
He fears demanding a share of his children's salaries when they begin working
He fears dismissing his daughter's potential husband as unsuitable for her if he isn't from an affluent family, yet welcome his son's potential wife
He fears dying without enough money to pass on to his children
P lease surgeon, tie his vasa
copyright 2007 festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia
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