Why did you split up?

After he lay his eyes on you he decided to pursue you

''Not so fast,'' you said, arresting him in his tracks

First, you had to certify that he had a solid financial foundation

Second, that he complimented you and made you laugh

Third, that he treated you with respect

Fourth, that he wanted a long-term relationship, not a one-night stand

Only after satisfying these requirements did you issue him a visa to your heart

He however had simple requirements: as long as you could cook and exhibited childbearing potential

After some years of phone calls, SMS, emails, lunch, dinner, picnics and movies

After some incidents of breaking up, making up and vice versa

One day he went down on one knee and asked, ''Honey, will you marry me?''

The rest, as it's claimed, is her story and his story

The sun brightened your wedding day like a newborn child brightens its parents' lives

The groom's party ensured their suits spotted no soot

The bridal party ensured they were pretty to the tee

Guests and gatecrashers were in high spirits as if they were high on narcotics

Inside the church building you tenderly held each other's ring fingers and lovingly looked into each other's eyes and like nursery school pupils on their first day, you repeated your marriage vows after the clergyman uttered them

A passionate kiss sealed the agreement

You were receptive to all breeds of advice at the reception

''A good wife does this and doesn't do that''

''A good husband does this and doesn't do that''

You received tonnes of gifts though some were generic

A political party membership was unnecessary  to join the evening party

You were still over the moon after your honeymoon

But you had to land back on earth, fast

Then it was back to normal: work, bills, in-laws, etc

The children arrived, the responsibilities increased

The '' I love you'' calls and SMS's reduced, flowers disappeared

Sex became boring, frowns replaced smiles, in-laws took sides

Did we make you split up? Did the financial, physical and moral responsibilities of maintaining a family become unbearable? P   pressure at work? What made you no longer want to see or speak to one another?

Why do you lie to your children that the other is to blame?

They deserve to know why you split up so that they can get on with their lives

copyright 2007: festus mbuimwe aka wamoronjia